


Silver and Gold

by literaryshoes



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-17
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-01-16 00:39:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1325236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literaryshoes/pseuds/literaryshoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the Ninth Doctor is diverted off-course and meets the only person on Earth who could match his sass mastery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Encounter

            The TARDIS materialized, its familiar groaning noise filling the air nearby. The Doctor waited until the last echo had faded from the control room, then stepped outside. A frown immediately appeared on his face. This was not Albion Hospital. The TARDIS had apparently decided there was somewhere more important for him to be. But what could be more important than investigating a spaceship crashing in the middle of London?

            Wherever he was, he appeared to have landed on an extremely cloudy day. The humidity in the air indicated impending rain. The Doctor walked out of the TARDIS and down the block, and spotted a newsstand around the corner. _A fortunate coincidence,_ thought the Doctor. _People always think I’m crazy when I ask them what year it is._ He walked up to the newsstand, picked up a newspaper and read the cover. It was a copy of the _Chiswick Herald_ dated October 20, 2008. So he had landed in Chiswick, London, England, two years later than he had been aiming for. What in the name of Rassilon could have drawn the TARDIS here?

            “You going to buy that or just stand there?” asked the man inside the newspaper stand. The Doctor simply smiled, set the paper down and walked away, looking at his feet. A breeze blew a Cadbury bar wrapper down the street.

            Chiswick. October 20, 2008. There couldn’t be anything of interest here. The TARDIS must have made a mistake. Just as the Doctor finished this thought, something in the corner of his eye caught his attention. A silver glint, scurrying along the ground into a nearby alley. This couldn’t be good. The Doctor slipped his hand into his pocket, surreptitiously readying the sonic screwdriver, just in case.

            He heard a woman’s shout and broke into a run, reaching the end of the alley in mere moments. He was just in time to see a ginger-haired woman swinging a lunch bag at a pile of silvery detritus on the ground. “Bloody hell!” she shouted. “Did you see that thing?”

            The Doctor stared at the remains of the Cybermat, then at the woman, then back at the pile of Cybermat pieces. “Did you just destroy a Cybermat with a lunch bag?”

            “I dunno. Did I?” the woman asked. “This robot thing just jumped at me and tried to bite me or something. So I just threw it on the ground and starting beating it.”

            The Doctor continued staring at the woman. “What do you have in that bag?”

            The woman scowled. “I was just bringing some lunch to my granddad. There’s a thermos of tea in here, some sandwiches and some biscuits. Not that it’s any of your business, mind.”

            The Doctor smiled, and then laughed. “Tea. Tea! A Cybermat brought down by a thermos of tea! Oh, fantastic!”

            The woman looked distinctly uncomfortable. “Yes, well, then, I had better be going. As long as that thing is really dead. I don’t want pieces of robot thing trying to bite my feet off.”

            The Doctor knelt down. If this Cybermat had any possibility of being repaired, it would have surprised him greatly. The woman had managed to break it in half, with half a dozen other bits of assorted sizes scattered next to it. He poked it with his finger, and when nothing happened, he smiled. “Definitely dead,” he said. “A thermos of tea,” he repeated quietly, as though he couldn’t quite wrap his head around it.

            “Here, now, why do you keep going on about it?”

            “Because Cybermats can’t typically be brought down by anything short of a sonic pulse. But you were able to destroy it with nothing more than a container filled with a hot beverage. You must be rather brilliant, or else you’re just very lucky.”

            “And you’re crazy,” said the woman. “And if you’ll excuse me, my granddad is waiting for his lunch.” She cautiously stepped over the remains of the Cybermat and strode past the Doctor toward the opening of the alley.

            “There’ll be more of them,” said the Doctor, and the woman stopped in her tracks. “Worse ones, unless I miss my guess… and I rarely do.”

            “Well, isn’t that wizard,” said the woman. “I don’t know what you expect me to do about it. According to you, it was just luck that I managed to smash that robot thing. And just who are you, anyway?”

            “Sorry,” said the Doctor, offering his hand for the woman to shake. “I’m the Doctor.”

            The woman scoffed. “Like hell you are. Are you having me on? Who put you up to this? Was it Nerys? Again?” She crossed her arms across her chest and glared at the Doctor.

            “I don’t know Nerys. And I assure you, I am the Doctor.”

            “No, you’re not. The Doctor is a tall, skinny bloke in a pinstriped suit with the most ridiculous hair I’ve ever seen. I don’t know who you are, but you ain’t him.”

            The Doctor stood for a moment and thought. That didn’t sound like any of his previous incarnations. That meant that this woman must have met him in the future. His future, anyway. He frowned and shook his head. “No, I can’t know that. You can’t tell me that. I’m not supposed to know my future!”

            “Well, excuse me,” said the woman. “But how am I supposed to know what your future is? It’s my past.”

            The Doctor didn’t know what to say to that. “Look, just… Do you know where there's a police station or something nearby? I might need help.”

            “Oh, you certainly need help, all right. Now excuse me, my granddad is waiting for this.” Without waiting for a response, the woman pushed past the Doctor and walked toward the newsstand.

            “Donna!” exclaimed the man in the newsstand, a broad grin spreading across his face. “You’ve brought me lunch! Donna Noble, you’re just the most thoughtful granddaughter in the world.”

            Donna smiled. “It’s not much. Just some sandwiches and tea, and some biscuits I managed to sneak past Mum.”

            “Oh, you really are a treasure.” Donna handed the lunch bag to the man in the newsstand, whom the Doctor realized was her grandfather. He felt an involuntary pang of sadness, which he immediately quashed. _No, no, no,_ he chided himself. _It won’t do to reflect on such things now. There’s work to do._ He picked up one of the small pieces of Cybermat and slipped it into his pocket, then walked over to the newsstand, and to the woman whose name he now knew was Donna.

            “Come back, have you?” the man asked. “I don’t suppose you’ve decided to purchase a copy of the _Chiswick Herald_ , have you?”

            The Doctor gave a halfhearted grin. “Actually, I’d like to talk to Donna, if you don’t mind.”

            “Oh, finally recognized me, have you? Well, that’s a relief. I was starting to believe you weren’t the Doctor. Except, wait, I still don’t believe you’re the Doctor.”

            The Doctor sighed, frustrated. And then the idea struck him, and he wondered why he hadn’t thought of it before. “You don’t believe I’m the Doctor? I’ll prove it to you,” he said. “Come with me.” He grabbed Donna’s hand and started running down the street.

            “Oi! You don’t expect me to just run off with you right after I’ve just…” She stopped short. There in front of her was the blue box that the Doctor had called the TARDIS. “That can’t be right. You… you must have stolen it!”

            The Doctor laughed. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. But I didn’t steal her from the Doctor. I am the Doctor.”

            “Right. And I suppose next you’re going to tell me it’s bigger on the inside.”

            The Doctor’s smile faded. “It is bigger on the inside.”

            “Yeah, of course it is,” said Donna. “Well, let’s just see, then.” She pushed the door open, and was greeted with the sight of the all-too-familiar TARDIS console room. “This is impossible!”

            “No, it isn’t. Now, from what you’ve told me, I’m guessing you met me in my future. Which I should not know. But now that I do, I suppose I should explain regeneration.”

            “You can explain a lot more than that. And I’m not moving until you do.” Donna sat on the floor of the time rotor platform.

            “Fine. Good,” said the Doctor, relieved he wouldn’t have to chase her any longer. “Now, then. I’m a race of alien known as a Time Lord. We’re a highly advanced race of aliens from a planet called Gallifrey.”

            “Yeah, you mentioned that bit. When the…”

            “Please don’t interrupt me,” said the Doctor, out of both frustration and a desire to keep as much of his future timeline a secret as possible. “When Time Lords are close to death, we go through a process called regeneration, and we walk away with a completely different body and personality. So the version of the Doctor you’ve met must be in my future.”

            “And the TARDIS is a time machine,” said Donna. She sat and thought for a moment. This man acted completely unlike the Doctor she had met, but then again, he had just finished explaining to her that he would eventually regenerate into a completely new person. And he had been able to get into the TARDIS easily enough. “I guess it’s possible. You might be the Doctor after all.”

            “Good. Now that we’ve got that settled, it’s time for you to leave. When I said more were coming, I meant it. It’s not safe for you here.”

            “Not a chance, spaceman!” Donna said. “I’m staying right here.”

            “No, you’re not,” said the Doctor, pulling the TARDIS door open.

            “Listen here, mate,” said Donna. “I was dosed with Huon particles for months before my wedding, which you told me repeatedly was deadly, and because of it I ended up being sucked in here against my will. I watched my fiancé conspire with a giant spider to try to kill me, and it’s only thanks to me we got out of that mess at all. So don’t you even try to tell me it’s too dangerous here. I’m not going anywhere.”

            The Doctor squeezed his hands into fists at his sides. “You shouldn’t tell…. You know what, fine. You think you can help stop a Cyberman invasion, fine. But don’t blame me if and when something horrible happens.”

            “Well, thanks for the vote of confidence,” said Donna, rolling her eyes. “I’m not some helpless little girl.”

            “Yes, you were fortunate enough to be carrying a thermos sturdy enough to crush a Cybermat. What are you going to do when you’re faced with an army of Cybermen?”

            “Find a bigger thermos,” said Donna.

            The Doctor and Donna stared at each other for a moment, then both burst out laughing at the same moment. “All right, all right,” said the Doctor. “Welcome aboard, then, Donna. Now come on. We’ve got a world to save.”


	2. The Threat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Doctor and Donna suss out exactly what is going on.

The Doctor walked calmly around the controls of the TARDIS, pressing buttons and turning knobs. At one point, he removed the piece of Cybermat from his pocket and set it on the console. At last, the TARDIS made one shrill beep, and the Doctor turned to face Donna.  


“Well, it looks as though the TARDIS has found the source of the problem. Now all we need to do is…” 

“Hold on just a minute,” said Donna. “What the hell was that thing?” 

“Cybermat,” said the Doctor. “Used as a scout for the Cybermen.” 

“You keep mentioning these Cyber-whatsits as though I’m supposed to know what that means.” 

The Doctor sighed, exasperated. “Cybermen. Natives of the planet Mondas. A humanoid species, or at least they were. Over the centuries, they began cybernetically enhancing themselves. Eventually that’s all that was left. And then they started spreading. Using their Cyber-conversion units to create more of themselves. Out of beings who were content the way they were. Ripping their emotions and identities away from them, and leaving nothing but cold steel.” 

Donna, for once, said nothing, and the Doctor turned back to the TARDIS screen. “As I was saying, it looks like the TARDIS has figured out where this Cybermat came from. According to the viewscreen, it’s some kind of abandoned warehouse. Let’s explore, shall we?” 

“Let’s.” It was almost possible to hear Donna’s eyes roll. 

“Let me make sure I have... ah! Sonic screwdriver,” said the Doctor, and he pulled it from his pocket, holding it aloft. 

“Hang on, I’ve seen that thing before!” said Donna. “The bleepy thing!” 

“Bleepy thing?” The Doctor looked horrified. “This is a precise scientific tool, capable of any number of things.” 

“Yeah, I remember. You used it to…” 

“One more word about my personal timeline and so help me, I’ll drop you on the moon.” 

Donna scowled. “Fine.” 

“Good,” said the Doctor, still slightly miffed. “Now, let’s go.” 

The inside of the warehouse was dark, dusty and smelly. It wasn’t Donna’s idea of an ideal secret hideaway, but maybe, she thought, that was why she wasn’t a criminal mastermind. She would never have come here under any other circumstances, that was certain. But the Doctor had assured her that the safety of Earth and the entire universe was at stake, so here she was slinking through this dim storehouse. 

The TARDIS had detected some kind of anomaly inside this warehouse, but he couldn’t be certain what exactly the anomaly was. So they had to investigate it for themselves. Fortunately, there were plenty of crates to duck behind. 

“What exactly are we looking for?” Donna whispered. 

“Sssh!” the Doctor hissed. 

“You’re not shushing me. This is important.” 

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Keep an eye out for anything that looks alien.” 

“More alien than you, you mean?” 

The Doctor scowled, but answered, “Yes. Much.” The two of them quietly darted behind another crate, and Donna slowly poked her head over the top. 

“All I can see is some big machines. Kind of look like… coffins.” 

The Doctor frowned deeply, and slowly peeked over the top of the crate. His worst fears were immediately confirmed. These were Cyber-conversion units. The Cybermen were here, and judging by the number of Cyber-conversion units, they were looking to boost their numbers. This could not get any worse. 

And then it started to rain. 

It wasn’t raining very hard, just enough to be considered a drizzle, but it seemed as though the universe were deliberately trying to make everything as inconvenient as possible. The sudden sound of rain on the metal roof startled Donna, and she inadvertently kicked the corner of one of the metal crates. The sound rang through the building, its small sound magnified until its echoes were the only thing that could be heard. 

Until they were replaced by a metallic shuffling sound. 

“Compatible human detected,” said a loud metallic voice. A man, or what looked like a man, stepped out of one of the corners of the room. 

The Doctor wasted absolutely no time. Grabbing Donna’s hand, he shouted, “Run!” But by that time, another Cyberman had made its way towards them and was standing directly in their way. The two of them spun to go in the opposite direction, only to find two more Cybermen advancing on them. Boxed in, the Doctor guided Donna backwards into a corner of the warehouse. 

He threw the door open behind him and pushed Donna out before pulling the door closed and pointing the sonic at it. A loud bang from the other side of the door confirmed that it had been firmly locked. 

“You didn’t have to push me!” said Donna. “You could have just said, ‘go,’ and I’d have gone.” 

The Doctor frowned. “I just saved your life!” 

“Well, excuse me. How was I supposed to know that?” Donna retorted. She sighed. "Now are we done here? I've had just about enough of this place." 

The Doctor opened his mouth as if to respond, but sighed instead. “Let’s get back to the TARDIS, and hope that warehouse doesn’t have any exits we don’t know about.”


	3. The Ruse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the beginnings of a plan take shape.

            The Doctor sighed. Cybermen. Well, that might just be more important than an alien invasion of London. Then again, technically it was an alien invasion of London. He sighed again.

            “Are you going to just sit there sighing or are you going to do something about this?” said Donna.

            The Doctor just looked at her. She was right, of course, but this was going to be exceptionally difficult. “Right, then. The Cybermen are tough, but they’re not invincible. They have a few major weaknesses.”

            “Thermoses of tea, apparently,” said Donna.

            “Very funny,” said the Doctor. “This is serious. If we don’t stop the Cybermen, they’ll convert everyone in the neighborhood. Then everyone in the city. Pretty soon it’ll be everyone in Britain, and then…”

            Donna bristled. “All right, then, what do you want me to do about it?”

            “I need you to…” The Doctor sighed. “Just help me brainstorm.”

            “All right, but I don’t know how much help I’ll be,” she said. “You’re the one who’s an expert on Cyberpeople.”

            “Just… sit there and listen,” said the Doctor. He started pacing slightly. “All right. Cybermen are vulnerable to a few things, but unfortunately not very many. Gold’s the big one, but that’s expensive, and we’d never find enough to take out that many Cybermen. Probably the easiest to find would be cleaning fluids. Acetone, things like that. It dissolves the plastic that holds their circuitry.”

            “Acetone,” said Donna. “Those things out there can really be taken down with a bit of nail varnish remover?”

            “A bit more than a bit,” said the Doctor, “and it helps if there are other things mixed in with it. I’m trying to remember what Polly used back on the moon.”

            “And I’m trying to accept that you say these things like other people are supposed to understand,” said Donna.

            The Doctor frowned. There wasn’t time for this. “Polly. Old friend. Once ran into a bit of trouble with Cybermen on the moon. She invented a cocktail of cleaning solutions that helped take care of the problem. All right?”

            “All right, all right,” said Donna, raising her hands in a defensive gesture. “I was just saying that a little explanation every so often might be helpful.”

            The Doctor just looked at her and shook his head, though if one looked closely it was possible to discern a trace of a smile. “I can’t promise anything, but I can try.”

            Donna smiled. “Good.”

            The Doctor thought a bit more, pacing slightly. “Do you happen to know of anywhere we can get acetone in bulk?”

            Donna frowned for a moment, then brightened. “Yeah, actually,” she said. “There’s this little warehouse I used to work for. I remember thinking to myself, _Who would ever order this much nail varnish remover?_ ”

            “Do you remember the address?” asked the Doctor, already back at his position beside the console.

            “I should think so,” said Donna with a scoff. “I wrote it on enough envelopes.”

            The Doctor smiled, a genuine smile. “Then let’s go.”

\--

            The distribution center, as it turned out, was a brick building with a few garage doors set in one side. The Doctor parked the TARDIS a block away, so that the noise wouldn’t attract any attention.

            “Right. I’ve got our way in,” said the Doctor, reaching for the psychic paper in his jacket pocket.

            Donna blocked his arm. “I’ve got this one.” She drew herself up, flipped her hair back off her shoulders and squared her shoulders. “Just follow my lead.”

            “Yes, ma’am,” said the Doctor, impressed.

            Donna whipped her head around, a smirk on her face that could only be described as fierce. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

            “That you’re the boss,” said the Doctor with a shrug and a grin. “Miss Noble.”

            “Right. Good,” said Donna. She pulled open the TARDIS doors and walked through, not bothering to check whether the Doctor was following her. She walked down the block with the same authoritarian carriage and made her way into the building, ignoring the stares from the drivers milling about outside. The Doctor just gave them a look that said “What are you going to do?” and followed her inside.

            Donna marched up to the front counter, tapping her fingers on it and looking very impatient. A man walked up to the counter a few moments later, muttering an apology over his cup of coffee until he looked up. “Donna?”

            Donna sneered. “That’s Miss Noble now. Owner of Chiswick Nail, soon to be the premier nail salon in Chiswick.”

            “Hence the name,” said the man with a smug smile.

            “Oi. I will have your job, Thomas,” said Donna. “I’m here to place an order.”

            Thomas frowned slightly. “Oh, yeah? For what?”

            “I need a case of acetone,” said Donna. “And I’ll be taking it with me.”

            Thomas's frown deepened. “That’s not how we’re supposed to do things.”

            Donna scowled. “Do you think I don’t know that, Thomas? Honestly. If my assistant here hadn’t messed up my original order, I would already have the case of acetone that I need, and I wouldn’t be here ordering one. But our grand opening is tomorrow, and we’re having a big party. I’ve promised perfect manicures to a couple of whiny actresses, and you know how touchy actors can be when everything isn’t exactly as they’re promised. And the future of my business is gonna be in their hands, or more accurately on their hands, and if it isn’t perfect, then it’s going to fail. And you know my mother, Thomas. You know how she’s going to feel if her daughter’s only successful venture turns out to be a failure. So yes, I know how things are supposed to be done, but I need you to help me.”

            Thomas sighed. “Just… sign this. I’ll have to charge you for same-day delivery.”

            “Fine,” said Donna, scribbling her signature on the form. “Just bring it out here and I’ll take it with me.”

            Thomas nodded and walked out, and Donna gave the Doctor an enthusiastic grin. The Doctor frowned slightly, but he had to admit he was impressed. She’d even tailored her cover story around Thomas’s familiarity with her.

            A moment later, Thomas re-entered the office, struggling with a large cardboard box. Donna looked down at her fingernails, and without even looking at Thomas she gestured for the Doctor to take the box.

            “Thank you, Thomas,” said Donna. “I’d be willing to slip you an invitation to that party if you want.”

            Thomas made a face. “A bunch of starlets whining over their fingernails? No, thank you.”

            “Suit yourself,” said Donna. “Let’s go,” she said to the Doctor. She at least had the manners to hold the door for him, and the two of them walked out.


End file.
